Tracy-Ann’s RuPaul has a touch of the medusa about it. Don’t look it directly in the eyes. Or the feet-hands.

It appears Mawaan is making an ancient Egyptian death mask for Paul. I’m both impressed and horrified.

“I’m really upset about the hair” says Tracy-Ann at a plate of well-formed biscuits as Mawaan’s pile of crumbs goes from bad to worse.

*Mawaan’s bake and dreams in a million pieces*

Noel: “You can do it.”

I’ve not seen a baker as phenomenally unpredictable since Bake Off Jamie.

Marwaan is a show all to himself.

I think we can all agree that, despite (or because of) what we’ve just witnessed, Mawaan should definitely join a regular series of Bake Off. Perhaps just as a fun contestant to cut to when things get tense?

I don’t think he’s going to get Star Baker.

He flew too close to the sun. Paul Hollywood’s mahogany face has shattered into a hundred pieces, and Mawaan is on the floor howling at the tent’s unflinching peaks.

Mawaan twenty minutes ago: “They should have gotten real bakers in.”

Mawaan right now “I should go on the real Bake Off”.

This was moments after pushing liquorice allsorts into his eyes.

The brandy has well and truly snapped.

Mawaan, perhaps unsurprisngly, is struggling to form a face from his melted/burned cheese-slop.

Why do I have a sense of foreboding and pure fear all of a sudden?