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The May 8 episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta taught viewers a lesson about gaslighting, and we have Drew Sidora‘s husband Ralph Pittman to thank for that. When Drew brought up his problematic assistant this week, Ralph told her he fired her. Drew was, of course, happy about that, but when she tried confirming that they no longer speak, too, Ralph said he does still speak to his assistant. Even though their private texts were the source of the issue at hand, Ralph said the personal relationship he has with his former assistant was never a problem. He also said that his assistant is 50, so Drew would be crazy to think he’d be interested in her.

Ralph then said he’d stop talking to his ex-assistant if and only if Drew told him to. But she refused to do that because she didn’t want Ralph to later resent her — she wanted him to make the decision for their relationship. Instead, he told her that he already resents her for other things she’s done in the past, so she dropped the conversation and immediately felt guilty (manipulation at its best).

Later, Ralph tried distracting Drew from the big issues they’ve been facing by planning a very elaborate date night. First, he surprised her with flowers. Then, he surprised her with a glam squad and a short sparkly dress before sending a limo to take her to him. When she arrived, she was blown away by the setup. He had a table with candles and roses everywhere — it was a private dinner for two and she was so excited. But when it came time to sit down, he asked her if they could stop focusing on stuff that doesn’t matter, and instead, focus on the big grand moments they share together. She appreciated the sentiment, but told him it was important for them to be able to share feelings and deal with issues that arise. He basically told her she was ruining the night, and he brought her to tears. Then he said he “regretted” planning the date and stormed off, leaving poor Drew all alone at the table for two.

Meanwhile, Kenya Moore bonded with Sheree Whitfield. And while they were hanging out, viewers finally got a tour of the famous Chateau Sheree, which exceeded all expectations we had for it. Even Kenya was impressed. But once the tour was complete, Kenya told Sheree that Drew works with Sheree’s assistant, and the assistant has allegedly been sharing gossip about Sheree with her.

Later, Marlo Hampton got her nephew ready for some sort of school dance, and Kandi Burruss bickered with husband Todd Tucker about his condo in New Jersey. Apparently, he’s more concerned with renovating the condo than he is with completing their pool update in Atlanta. It was a condo he shared with his ex, and because his ex couldn’t keep up with the payments, and his name was still on the lease, he bought it from her. Now, it’s his home away from home, and Kandi doesn’t like the fact that he’s so invested in it when her name isn’t even on the deed. He made a point, though, to say that his name isn’t on the deed to their Atlanta house either. (Anyone else think that’s weird?)

Want more drama? New episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta air Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.