Met Gala goes downheel

Met Museum party. Word is Kim K — known to occasionally cloak her behind in designer fake-o’s — sported $60 stripper shoes with that Marilyn shmatta.

Those who know say those shoes are standard operating procedure for a certain element. They’re called a “slot.” Like for dancers at jiggle and wiggle joints.

It’s like SOP as part of a costume. Like maybe at places like Scores maybe. The ladies stash money, cash, tips, inside. Hidden. One pro bought a pair on Eighth Street and stuffed even jewelry inside hers because later she was to be photographed in whatever shreds remained of her wardrobe.

Wearers cannot walk too far too fast too long because, loaded, they’re heavy. And Miss Kartrashian — tugging collie Pete Davidson on his leash — was stepping and schlepping all over MM’s famous dress in those crappy cheesy stripper shoes.

Also, she brilliantly wore that white fur over the gown, which hid her rear end and where this historic iconic dress could not be let out. This way Kim’s historic iconic ass — larger than any part of Pete Davidson — could be camouflaged.

Unscripted role

All involved are now gone but I remember “Some Like It Hot” director Billy Wilder complaining when he worked with Marilyn Monroe she wasn’t hitting on all eights and couldn’t manage to get things right. He’d said: “Took 50 takes for her to just get the one line, ‘It’s me, Sugar,’ right. Finally I said to her, ‘Don’t worry about it’ and Marilyn said, ‘Don’t worry about what?!’ ”

Jammed up

What’s with the LIE? Every 10 minutes sections are being repaired, re-fixed, closed off so portions are getting redone. It’s constant. ALWAYS. What are they working with — Krazy glue? It’s getting redone more often than Kim’s behind.

Global power is left to idle

Under liberal Truman we had inflation, demand for goods, crippled supply chain. What I’ll do with this information, who knows. I only know we should throw a net over that White House croaking frog Burpden.

Another thing. The barely breathable UN passed a resolution demanding Russia “immediately, completely, unconditionally withdraw all its military forces from the territory of Ukraine.” So???

So why not do to Russia what they did to North Korea in the ’50s — send a UN force to stop this horrific invasion. Answer: The UN had declared against North Korea when the USSR — protesting Taiwan — was boycotting the UN. With no seat in the Security Council, Russia could not veto declaring war on N. Korea.

These UN diplomats with their double-parked limos, fancy license plates and cocktail parties — whatthehell good are they?

Scene & heard

Mentioned in restaurant Canaletto was news of a Hulu eight-parter coming about Sammy Davis Jr. Producer-director’s Lee Daniels . . . And Cedric the Entertainer plus Jae Benjamin did a babble-all with Lamar Odom on “FanRoom Live” . . . And the noms-de-plume Elton John reportedly used when checking into hotels: Lillian Lollipop, Lord Choice, Lord Elpus, Binky Poodleclip.

Accountant: “My wife says I’m bisexual. Could be because I only do it with her twice a month.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.