Kim Kardashian is reflecting on her personal life and career as she celebrates a major career milestone.

The reality star and SKIMS mogul, 41, appeared on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue this month, which marks her first time ever appearing in the magazine. In a video promoting the new issue, Kardashian opened up about the things that bring her joy, including parenting her four children with her ex-husband Kanye West.

“I’d say that the most rewarding part is that, unless you’re a parent, you really don’t get how challenging it is,” she explained. “There are nights where you just are like, ‘I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to adult anymore, this is really hard.’ Every kid is crying, and no one will go to bed.”

She also said that the “most stressful time” with her kids is when she does a photoshoot with all four children.

“Every time after I attempt a Christmas card, I’m just like, I’m never doing this again,” she said. “I’ll individually do a shot with each kid and have to Photoshop it together. I say that every year, and then every year I attempt it. I’m like, ‘No, they’re a year older, we’ve got this, we’re not going to fight, we’re going to get through it, no one’s going to cry today.’ And then it’s a nightmare, and I’m like, ‘I’m never doing that again.'”

As for her own photoshoot, Kardashian told the magazine that the Sports Illustrated cover was a surprising milestone for her.

“Every time I would see magazines, especially in the ‘90s when I was growing up, it’s always these perfect, tall, thin women, and I just have never been that,” she shared. “I vividly remember Tyra Banks on the cover, and women with curves, and I remember just thinking that was so cool, that was so cool. But I still didn’t think that I would. I thought you had to be a professional model and a runway model. And it’s always really young girls. I don’t want to date myself, or sound old, but in my 40s? That’s crazy. I never thought in a million years that I would be shooting one myself.”

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While Kardashian’s cover has been met with some controversy, MJ Day, the magazine’s editor in chief, explained in an interview with Yahoo Life that there were many reasons why The Kardashians star was the right choice for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit.

“She failed a bunch of times. She could have quit, but she didn’t. And it was very public, her failure,” Day said. “When you’re that famous, there’s gonna be a lot of people that say a lot of things about you, but her persistence and her unwillingness to limit herself in all these other ways that doesn’t necessarily get as much attention as like what she wears to the Met Gala, unfortunately. She just continues to do it, even in light of any type of negativity. I just really stand for that, like, I really applaud that.”

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